Write Your Heart Out

The process of writing is cathartic. My soul, my heart and my mind vomit their all onto the page. As human beings, we all have our pain, sorrow and perceptions of life. We also have something called experience and it is something that every human possesses. We may not all experience all kinds of things but we do experience life in many ways even if we think we don’t.

A lot of humans have trauma, deep traumas buried inside us like maritime treasure buried underneath the ocean floor. It is important to get all of this crud out of us if we can in a safe way. There are a lot of injustices in the world and sometimes they happen to us within our own household or place we grow up in.

You can only fool yourself for so long about the amount of anxiety or pain you are in. Slowly, it will seep out and seep into other areas of life if you aren’t careful about dealing with it beforehand. We are human and though even though we will numb ourselves with sugar, alcohol, drugs, sex and other vices, eventually, it hits us. We aren’t robots. We are living souls existing in a human body. We have feelings. We have thoughts. We carry body, generational, DNA memory within us about our previous generational and ancestral experience.

This experience can manifest itself in various ways based upon how we grow up and what we experience. Lately, I have been exploring this idea of confronting and transmuting the generational curses within myself. There is so much sludge and it is so damn hurtful and painful. What if we have conversations with our ancestors about their behavior? What if we can change this behavior within ourselves to not go forward into the future?

Writing is one way that it can happen. Through writing we can unravel all the bullshit and nastiness that is buried within our ancestral legacy. Writing is not only important it is and can be lifesaving and life transforming. We have to be able to harness its power for our own healing and personal transformation.

To me, writing serves many purposes. One purpose it serves is to be able to help me sort out a lot of conflicting feelings I have in me. I am a sensitive soul and I have carried and felt a lot of feelings and emotions within me throughout my life that didn’t always make sense to me. It is also hard to verbalize these feelings into coherent thoughts to spit out verbally. Writing can help me hash everything out. It helps me empty these feelings onto the screen and be able to try to analyze and understand them further.  Sometimes, after doing this I can experience closure or come to conclusions about issues that previously bothered or baffled me.

Another purpose writing serves for me is to share my thoughts with the world about various things. We as human beings are all unique, we are not the same and we don’t have the same perceptions about the world. One way to grow and blossom is to read other people’s experiences and ideas about life and the world. In this way, I like writing poetry. I can get my ideas out there and maybe even touch someone’s life if I am lucky. I have been writing poetry since I was a child and I am a deep believer in the art of poetry as a means to share one’s ideas and change the world positively in that way.

Making words dance onto the paper, a form of word play is soothing. Everyone cannot always write and write well but when people do, it is like typewritten music to your eyes and psyche. There is a special pleasure I take in reading and reading something so gripping and powerful that it takes me on an emotional rollercoaster or it opens an echelon of my humanity. I am a person who likes my ethereal imagination stimulated and writing serves as a gateway to this being done.

I have been told that I have a unique writing style and voice that is enjoyable to read. I feel grateful for this. I don’t hold an ego about this and I am glad to be able to have kept and cultivated my own writing voice and style over the years and not let it die. Sometimes when I wrote in academic style during my college and graduate school days, I feared this would take a toll on my personal creativity and my creative writing pieces would become dull, boring and dry. I would have hated to lose creative fervor and have it dimmed for a long period of time to the point of not being able to get it back. Fortunately, that did not happen.

As a current English teacher for kids, I have been teaching reading and vocabulary content and have checked a LOT of quizzes and writing over these years. At times, it is very cumbersome and tedious. I don’t know any teacher who has INTENSE joy checking, correcting and grading papers. I guess some exist but I don’t think it is necessarily the norm. However, it is a necessary “evil” that must be done. It is a repetitive job and looking at all the grammar and helping the kids study and learn it can be exhausting to the mind and also stifle my writing creativity. However, I have tried to make sure I keep writing regardless of  my tiredness from work.

Writing to me is not just an act, it is a gateway to unlock so many things inside me and share it with the world. Throughout the world, many people have been writers and have written and changed the world and influenced people through their writing. I hope that I can change the world through my words and do it in a way that is authentic, positive and useful. I want to use my form of catharsis to transform the world. I was born to be a writer. When asked what I wanted to be as a child, I believe I replied “a writer.”

To all writers out there, live it, do it, write it and write from the deep recesses of your mind, heart and soul.

–written by Maria Mocha © 2020

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